Miscellaneous Experimental Strangebits (1988 – 2017)


  • A red faced government watches in horror as a take two  public service announcement records the accident it causes creating the Johnny B Curve of Velocity which affects the shape of things to come like insurance claims pushing the envelope of indirect taxation into the mail box

    Each footstep makes good reading as Brandon Wilson walks the Templar Trail to Jerusalem following the path of the Poor Knights of Christ of the Temple of Solomon and The Nine chosen to protect the Holy Grail to us walking the same path through this world where peace of mind in our hearts is the only path to true happiness

  • The former bare handed lion hunter turned boxer went eleven brutal rounds with his prey both of their faces are masks of Vaseline blood and pain as he relentlessly stalks his opponent around the ring with a right hand lead and the lion favoring a counter left by round eight both pugilists are dazed cut and punch drunk with the writing on the wall

  • Andre Breton had a thing or two to say about being caught between a pair of moments where love is madness a revolution of the imagination caught between the dirty sheets of reality leaving Andre to muse about the man that cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot

  • Captain Walter Colquhoun Grant to announce his arrival in eighteen forty nine as Vancouver Island’s first colonist shot a cow confusing it for a Sooke buffalo also brought Scotch broom to BC in eighteen fifty as a forget me knot for springtime allergy sufferers searched for gold in Oregon and a few years later sold his land sailing for India to ride with the Hodson’s 4th Horse Regiment to spend his remaining years there

  • The India fakir danced barefoot across the razor sharp edge of giant sabre balancing a four foot candle on his head another fakir decided to hold his arm up for what seems an eternity and now a family of birds has built a nest in it for a tourist attraction

  • Amun’s mother was the Wind of Thebes as gods may come and gods may go like the sacred being born and lost in our hearts but one thing remains a constant in all of us that ties us together through the spiritual poetry of our lives as a voice driven by the wind of the imagination’s creation

  • Blackbirding is a short story about slavery through trickery and kidnapping starting with JC Byrne dropping by the Cook Islands in the middle of coconut famine to find a labor source for Peru which needed workers and the race for available laborers was on by fair means or foul like press ganging in the British Navy ending after the Napoleonic Wars and shanghaiing for the South China Sea trade like Jim Shanghai Kelly throwing a booze cruise birthday party on the paddle steamer Goliath for himself serving opium laced whiskey to capture a crew for his ship the Reefer which we all know led to Reefer Madness and today it is still happening in the Asian fishing industry off the shores of Thailand where young Cambodian boys are at sea for years on floating ghost ship prison labor camps catching pet food for Iams Meow Mix and Fancy Feast

  • The next village was about fifty four klicks four hours and several songs later riding his bicycle backwards playing a violin before there was television there was the movie house News Reel with Lowell Thomas saying Good Evening Everybody From Cripple Creek to Samarkand riding with Lawrence in Arabia turning nineteen twenty four into a signature and some words on the inside of his own book

  • The massage parlor ran a side door business next to a sperm bank next door to a drug store next door to an adult entertainment store next door to a fast food outlet next door to a liquor store next door to the department store that is our lives where stranger things have happened which is the object of the news and no matter how much experience we find a way to remember it will never be enough because the edge of the universe is not where it was yesterday and neither are we and all of this still needs us to ask the why and how all of this all started in the first place because there must be a reason beyond what we have entertained ourselves with so far

  • The car race driver developed the special ability to read spinning record labels at seventy eight revolutions per minute and billboards at over two hundred miles per hour in preparation for the Atlanta Raceway with the Book of Genesis on the back of a postage stamp as his good luck charm and when he ran into the wall he took it out on his steering wheel

  • Horses do cry and they do talk to each other and like us wonder why the photographer was taking the picture of a comedian washing his pet ceramic calf with a garden hose on loan from the Great White Shark School of Poetry where your imagination is shredded on the three rows of teeth caught in the mouth of Borges’ prehistoric leviathan savoring the taste of your creative juices curdled by the price asked for by the Art of Agony

  • The Tara Supper Club on the King George Highway at the corner of Crescent Road on a knoll above the Mud Flats and Nicomekl River borrowed its name from Gone With The Wind and was a brown bag bottle club with forty cent splits of Canada Dry ginger ale and quarts for seventy five cents and who can forget or remember Stubby’s soft drinks and Mimi Van Doren who was once booked to perform with the house orchestra would be selling cars out of the car dealership showroom today

  • The particle physicist is a professional air ball maker in his spare time making gigantic bubbles he can stand inside while wondering about Einstein at children’s birthday parties

  • For the record thirty two men on a motorcycle who fell over watching David Frost’s riveting Nixon Interviews can relax the record is now fifty six men riding a five hundred cc Royal Enfield Bullet one man holding onto two planes so they can’t take off has Peter standing on one leg suspending his tape measure one hundred and forty four inches in front of him and Scotty Wolfe the Baptist minister getting married twenty nine times never fails to amaze us for who we are as the best damn program on Galactic Television

  • …to be continued